I woke up with a headache, and then, I had to take someone to school on short notice, and on top of everything else, I got into a fight with my best friend. Not that she's really been my best friend these past few months, since she's too busy with her boyfriend and has turned into a sarcastic bitch 1/2 the time.
It sucks. I know I wasn't always the greatest friend, but I was there for her when she needed it, and had she just told me that she really wanted/needed to hang out with her, I would have. But she didn't say anything, so I didn't. That's not to say that I never hung out with her, I just didn't hang out with her that often.
Back to this morning:
We get to school at the same time. Yesterday she was up at FSU visiting her brother, and she got back last night. I have Flight Of The Lawnchair Man rehearsals today (much like every day, and I still can't get enough of it) and since she is my Assistant Stage Manager, and we are doing a run of the first act, I want her, my other ASM and the Lighting Designer and the Assistant Lighting Designer there. I figured that after rehearsal we could maybe grab coffee, but she was going to be hanging out with her boyfriend. No surprise there. I was jokingly giving her a hard time (it's the only way that I can deal with her constant sarcasm). She started complaining that I never saw her last year, and I told her that had she asked, I would have. She said that she just decided to stay quite and be a 3rd wheel. I told her that she didn't really have a right to complain then, because she always kept quite. I was still joking, and even told her that I wasn't really that upset, and that I was kinda just joking with her. She got pissed and said that she didn't like it because she feels like that's all I do. If you're around me enough, most of the time I don't joke enough and I'm too serious, but apparently not to her. I told her that I joke so much because I can't deal with her sarcasm all the time. She said fine, and we just stopped talking. I'm not sure we're going to be talking for a while. I feel like I should apologize, but I don't at the same time because all I wanted was to see my best friend, who I never see and who I need, because I don't really have anyone else.
Wow. That sucks, I don't have anyone else. Well, I have one person, but it's not like he's there for me anymore, so I'm really alone.
I mean, I have some friends that I can talk to, but no one that I'm really close to, so I'm screwed.
Class is almost over.
Bye.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Everything is changing so fast and I'm so unsure of the future. I'm unsure of how to feel about everything, and I wish that someone would just tell me what to do and that everything is going to be ok and MEAN it. I understand that people don't know the future, but it would still be nice if someone know.
Change is a scary thing, and the more and more I think about it, the more and more I don't want it to happen. Although I thrive on change, I don't thive on other peoples change. If anything, for the most part, I deny it. I wish that things could stay the same, but it's time to face the music. Things are going to change. For better or for worse. No matter what.
Change is a scary thing, and the more and more I think about it, the more and more I don't want it to happen. Although I thrive on change, I don't thive on other peoples change. If anything, for the most part, I deny it. I wish that things could stay the same, but it's time to face the music. Things are going to change. For better or for worse. No matter what.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Today wasn't so bad. I got up around 9, had coffee [my aunt Missy made it, and damn, she makes good coffee] and got ready to go on the boat. It's become kind of obvious that my parents don't really want me around. They kicked me out of their cabin [that I was supposed to stay in] and they also didn't want me on the boat with them. My aunt Missy and uncle Kevin brought their boat with them, and my parents were on it, and when Ashley and I went to see what was up with them, my parents and aunt and uncle didn't seem to want us around...ohwell.
Out on the river it was pretty nice. We saw one alligator, which was cool, I guess, but I can see them in my backyard, so it's not that big a deal to me. The boat trip was peaceful for the most part until my aunt Kimberly decided to tell me how to live my life. She told me that I'm too smart to be an event planner, and that just made me annoyed. Thankgod for Gary [my aunts boyfriend] though, he pretty much told her that it's more than what it seems and it would be a good thing for me to do. He earned a lot of points with me for that.
Since there are a lot of springs around here, my family decided that they wanted to go to one, so we went to one that you could access by boat. It was called Fanny Springs, and damn was it cold. I was only in the water for about 5 minutes before I decided to get out. I always forget how cold the water is until I go to get in. I suppose you could consider it refreshing if you've just run 10 miles or done something else that gets your really hot and sweaty, but when you've just been chilling out on a boat of a few hours, it's more cold then refreshing.
After the springs, we decided to begin to head back to the dock. I tried the jet ski [for the 2nd time, the 1st was last summer in Ocala] and I did okay; the highest speed I hit was 40 because I was scared I was going to fall off. Everyone else went fishing and while they started doing that, my uncle Jimmy said that he'd give $100 to the first person to catch a fish. He's not known for keeping his word, so no one believed him, so when Gary caught the first fish, it wasn't a surprise when he didn't pay up.
After fishing, things went downhill. Now, normally, I don't get into debates, but sometimes my mouth just won't stop, and thats what happened. My uncle is highly close minded and he doesn't like anything that doesn't fit into what he believes is normal. He believes that the world is black and white, and I'm sorry, but the world has never, and will never be black and white. I personally believe that's bullshit, and I felt the need to inform him of that. I got really pissed off, and we argued about a lot of different things. I sometimes don't understand how I'm related to the people in my family.
I made brownies when we got back, and while they were cooking, I hung out in my parents cabin while they sat outside on the porch. Ashley, Shane and Forrest [Gary's son] were off somewhere getting drunk [and more for 2]. When I caught back up with them, Ashley was having a little bit of trouble walking, so dinner was interesting. After that, we got to go shoot off fireworks and I used a Bic lighter for the first time in my life. I also got to light mortars... :]. There were a lot of fireworks going off; it was a pretty nice display of explosives.
If you've never had a smore, then you need help. Ashley has never had a smore until today. Gary built a fire after the fireworks and we all sat around chilling out, making smores. Well, Ashley, Forrest, my aunt Barbara and I that is. Shane left to hang out with a friend that lives nearby and no one else wanted any. They were too busy with their drinks. After about 30 minutes, everyone decided to turn in but Ashley, Forrest and I. He had to stay up and wait for Shane and Ashley just wasn't tired. We hung out with him, and wow, he's nothing like what I thought he was going to be, which isn't a bad thing. He's a pretty nice, and he's talkative once he opens up. Shane got back a little before 2, which is when I decided that I needed to go to bed, and yet here I am, at 2:40 typing away. I'm going to bed after this though, I'm tired. So, I guess that's the end of day 1's adventure...nightnight.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Well, the middle of nowhere is just that. The middle of nowhere. I ended up reading for the rest of the car ride, I finished a book and started a new one. We stopped at Hardee's for lunch; surprisingly, Hardee's is pretty happening. It's like the Panera of Hicktown. Whoo Hoo. I'm surprised that we weren't killed. Everyone stared at us when we were in there...it was a little odd.
We drove for another hour [ish] and then ended up in our campsite. I have no cell service, but we have wi fi. The big cabin is really nice and it's also the nicest cabin [not to mention largest] in the campsite. The one that my parents are staying in is decent, but nothing like the big one. My parents pretty much kicked me out of my own cabin, so I'm staying in the big one. My aunt Barbara and Uncle Jimmy get one bedroom [with the full/queen bed], Ashley and I get the other bedroom with the 2 twin beds and my aunt Missy and uncle Kevin get the pullout couch in the living room, which has the t.v. From what I've been told though, sleeping arrangements are subject to change...
When we got settled, Ashley and I got out our laptops to see if we could get wi-fi, which we did. There was some shrieking involved with that discovery. We were almost as excited as the adults were about drinking...
My aunt Missy and uncle Kevin got here around 6ish, and my aunt Kimberly, my cousin shane, her boyfriend and his son have yet to arrive, and I'm tired as hell. It's been a very l o n g day. All the adults started drinking right away and by now they're all drunk. I've been held up in the bedroom the whole night with my wonderful MACBOOK and wi-fi. I know that seems like a shitty way to spend vacation, but we're going out on the boat tomorrow and the only other thing to do here is go to the pool, which doesn't get me all that excited, so MACBOOK it is. [Not a word Patrick (and Timmy)].
Right now, I'm considering going to bed, but I'm not sure yet.
There was a moth in our room [and plenty of other more interesting creatures outside] and Ashley was freaking out. It was really really funny to me. She was walking/running around the room trying to get it. She finally got it, and she was very entertaining. I was laughing very hard, which isn't good because of quite time. You have to be quite from 10 to 6...I don't know how well that's going to go with my family, so I guess we'll see. Everyone's out walking right now, which is better than driving thats for sure.
nightnight
So I’m sitting in the car, listening to my iPod while my mom asks my dad trivia questions. It’s day one of the trip to the middle of nowhere, otherwise known as the Suwannee River. It’s going to be a long few days. I don’t have much battery power at the moment because I forgot to charge my laptop last night, but that’s ok. It’s 11:11. Shit. I missed it. On the plus side, I got fireworks and my dad said that I can light them. :]. I can also ride my bike with no handlebars. As much as I love that song, it’s become over played; I hate that. It’s playing on my iPod right now. It’s a wicked good song, and it never fails to make me smile, especially when I think about the night that I was at the bowling alley and it started playing and the guy that worked there. He started dancing too it. It still makes me giggle a little thinking about it.
I have 20 minutes left on my battery. This kind of sucks, but still, everybody’s gonna love today, love today, love today. :]. Now I have 16 minutes. I was fixing something in iCal. I love my MACBOOK. [That’s for loserfaces that don’t like Macs, and then use mine. You two know who you are.] Move to the left, to the left, mmmmmm. I find it very funny how I just keep typing song lyrics. I highly doubt this will be the only time I write today, I’ll most likely write tonight before I go to bed. For this trip, I have a feeling that writing=sanity. Don’t get me wrong, I like insanity as much as the next person [well, the people that I hang out with], but there’s a good insanity and multiple bad forms insanity; the one I’m trying to prevent is a bad insanity. I’ll find someway to survive. I don’t think it’s going to be as bad as I thought, but who knows. Cross your fingers. YEAHH!!! [Another song]. I decided to chill. Opps, 12 minutes left. I’m also hungry….but I gotta keep it real now. I want to ride my bicycleeeeeeeeeee. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. I just kept hitting the L and the A. Boredom is inevitable. Yippie. I am now running on reserve power. I need to stop typing. Stop. Now. I mean it. Ok, I’m done. Honestly.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
So right now I'm sitting at Patrick's [there, I'm talking about you] house. He's being a meaniepants; I'm in the process of updating my blog, and he's being a loser about it. Ohwell. I'm putting off packing for my nightmare of a family trip to the middle of nowhere. I'm also hungry. Patrick's still a meaniepants.
fin
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
so I've made a mental list of things that make me upset/mad/frustrated:
the word perfect
Expectations
judgemental people.
people that assume they know whats going on in your life, and what you will or will not like, even though they know shit about you
the fact that I say sorry for everything
the fact that I sometimes don't think I'm strong enough to handle things on my own
the fact that I someone to actually see me
the fact that people dont normally understand what I'm trying to tell them
people that shove their opinions down your throat
people that tell you how to live your life
people that don't understand and get it
[theres more, but I'm just gonna stop here]
the word perfect
Expectations
judgemental people.
people that assume they know whats going on in your life, and what you will or will not like, even though they know shit about you
the fact that I say sorry for everything
the fact that I sometimes don't think I'm strong enough to handle things on my own
the fact that I someone to actually see me
the fact that people dont normally understand what I'm trying to tell them
people that shove their opinions down your throat
people that tell you how to live your life
people that don't understand and get it
[theres more, but I'm just gonna stop here]
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
'Sup? [Heyy was getting boring.]
I'm sitting in the lobby of the nicest hotel we've stayed at so far. A Hampton inn. It beats the Days Inn in Perry, the Motel 6 and the other motels that we've stayed in along the way. I'm drinking watered down decaf coffee, and writing this letter because the wireless Internet doesn't reach up to our room.
It's on the third floor and the elevator is broken. It was fun lugging all of our stuff up the stairs, although I highly doubt that three flights of stairs compare to the Great Wall.
So last night, we stayed near Huntsville, right outside of it actually. Huntsville is home to one of the NASA space and rocket centers. We spent part of the day there, and it was AMAZING! I had been too the one in Florida [Cape Canaveral] when I was little, but I don't really remember anything about it. There was a museum there [I won't tell you about it. I think I was enough of a teacher in the last e-mail] and they also had a few rides there. We watched an IMAX about airplanes, and I've decided that I want to learn how to fly. It was amazing to see how planes moved like a bird without moving there wings. They talked about flying shows, where they do tricks, and although it looks easy, it isn't. It's actually really hard to preform all of those tricks because of the G-Forces and other things. And when they do the formations, there are A LOT of minor adjustments that have to be made to make it look right.
After we spent part of the day at the space center, we drove on to find a Friday's. There isn't one in Sarasota, and it's really good. I had found one online last night, but we decided not to go to it, but this afternoon, we figured we would. We went in the general direction to find the restaurant, and after a while of driving, we found it. It was worth the drive. I even booked our room online while we were there. Is there a public place WITHOUT WiFi? It never seizes to amaze me how many places have WiFi.
After we ate, we got back on the road and drove for a while. My mom figured that there was only one restaurant that we haven't gone to. Dairy Queen. My dad was thinking that it sounded good, so we decided that we would stop if we came across one. We did, but my mom read the sign wrong and we got off at the wrong exit and drove for a little bit, until we figured that it wouldn't be too far from the interstate. It turns out that it was the NEXT exit that had the Dairy Queen. We stopped and got ice cream, and then hit the road again.
My mom needed to stop at Walgreen's and we need gas, so we got off a while later, after battling the Nashville rush hour and accident avoidance traffic. [there was an accident during rush hour on the highway, so we took a HIGHLY confusing detour.] We went there and then a local chain grocery store called Krugers. It was like a Publix or Albertsons or Winn Dixie or [you get the picture].
We didn't stop for too long [for once] and then we hit the road again. We finally got to our hotel exit [I think Elizabethtown is nearby-for those of you who have seen the movie and our a fan] but before we could get to our hotel, we had to stop and get brochures about what to do in Kentucky. Apparently the Chamber of Commerce here is a bit more on top of getting brochures out to the general public. [longgg story]
Apparently, there are quite a few caves in good 'Ole Kentucky. I have a feeling we'll be going to a lot of them.
After we checked in, my parents went into the town to do laundry, but it was closed. We were laughing because in the dumpy hotels, they had washing and drying machines and mini fridges as well as microwaves in the room, but the Hampton Inn doesn't. What they do have are comfy beds and a nice hotel room. I'll take that over a POS hotel.
Well, I'm tired, like I am every night, and I'm gonna head back up to the room.
nightnight.
e-mail me back. I wanna hear from you!
text me too!
<3
Micah
Heyy everyone.
What’s going on? I’m typing this letter tonight, but the internet is being lameee and it’s not letting me connect so you all are getting this a day late. Sorry about that.
Today was pretty cool. We got a wakeup call at 6, but me being me, I don’t get up until an hour later. Yeah. I’m pretty cool. We went to this run down old place for breakfast, but it was possibly one of the greatest breakfasts that I have ever had. After breakfast, we went to this place called Desoto Caverns, which is an active cave and it also have a few attractions. [Yes, I realize that I said that we were going to head up to Mammoth Caves, but we’re going slowly. As my dad says, it’s the journey that matters, not the destination.] It was privately owned and REALLY nice. We got there right after it opened and we were in the first tour that went in the cave. It was only me, my mom, my dad and this mom [or grandma] with 4 kids. The cavern was AMAZING. There were a lot of formations, and at one point, it was an Indian burial ground, it was sacred, it was used in the civil war to make gun powder, and the one that made us all laugh [well, the ones old enough to get it] was that during the prohibition of alcohol, it was used to make moonshine, but since the entrance to the cave was 40 feet steep, they couldn’t get the moonshine out of the cave, so they decided that since they couldn’t bring the moonshine to the people, the decided that they would bring the people to the moonshine. Yes. They made a cave into a tavern. Granted it only lasted about 6 weeks, and it destroyed some of the stalagmites, but you have to give them credit. It’s pretty inventive. =]
After we did that, we drove for a little bit and tried to find brochures. We couldn’t seem to find ANY. It was really weird. My mom was looking at a map and found this place called Cathedral Caverns, but we couldn’t find any advertisement for it.
Anecdote: While we [meaning my dad] were driving [dad=behind the wheel, me=shotgun + mom=backseat, yes, I have shotgun. =)] my mom was looking for her peanuts, and she asked me if they were in the front seat, but instead of saying peanuts, the conversation went something like this:
Mom: Micah,
Me: Yes, mom?
Mom: Are my penis—I mean peanuts up there?
Me: [laughing] No, mom. Your penises aren’t up here. Do you see them dad?
Dad: Why no Micah, I don’t see her penises anywhere, although I wasn’t aware she had one.
Me: Neither was I. Is there something you should tell us mom?
Mom: No honey, there is nothing I have to tell you other then the fact that I can’t find my
peanuts.
We made fun of my mom for the rest of the day. Most likely it will be a trip thing. =] Mwhahahahaha.
We decided to stop at subway for lunch and figure out a game plan. We planned to keep driving toward the Cathedral Caverns banking on seeing advertisement or signs and following them. We did that, and we kept driving until we found small government signs telling us where to go. We drove through this small town to get to the caverns called Grant. It was home of the DAR [Daughters of the American Revolution] school. I don’t know that much about it, but I’m planning on researching it when I can get internet access.
When we got to the Caverns, we got there at 3:45, just in time, [really 15 minutes early] for the last tour. We [me, my mom and my dad] discovered that the first and last tours are the best, because those are the smallest. It was only us and the tour guide. Since we were not only a small group, but we were the last group, our tour guide took us on a golf cart in the cave instead of walking. It was nice, since the cave was big as well as active. In caves, you’re perception of things is different. Things that seem close to you are actually far apart. The reason for that is because you have nothing to compare it with when you’re in a cave underground. The cavern was AMAZING! I learned too much about it to tell you all about it, but it holds 4 world records. The largest cave entrance is the only one I remember clearly. I was way too fascinated. You should Google it or something and read about it. Look at pictures too, although I highly doubt it’ll do it justice. It’s like the great wall. It’s hard to experience it by just looking at pictures. You have to really be there to understand how amazing it is. Our tour guide was a fan of Zoolander, so we had some fun quoting the movie.
Oh, one more thing about caves. There are only three places in the universe that you can experience total darkness and that is 1. Space; 2. The ocean [deep, like challenger deep, (that’s the deepest point in the ocean, for those of you that don’t know)] and 3. Caves. Being in total darkness is scary. If you stay like that for longer than 2 weeks, you’ll go blind. It’s weird. It feels like you’re totally and completely alone. It’s a neat experience, but I don’t recommend seeing the movie The Descent. It made me a little frightened to be in total darkness. It was really neat too, because in the total darkness in the second cave, we got to yell as loud as we could and hear it echo though three rooms, all of which were huge. That was really good, because I got to let out a lot of pent up emotions without telling anyone. It felt good.
After we did that, we drove onto Huntsville where I saw the NASA space center, which we will be visiting tomorrow. =] I’m happy about that. Space is really fascinating. [I just realized how dorky and geeky I sound. I’m e-mailing you all about caves and the space center and how cool it all is] but that’s ok. I love it. When I was in elementary school and we were living in my old house [yay Seville!] I got a book from the school library and I kept checking it out. I think I had it out for over a month. At one point, when I first checked out the book, I wanted to stay up all night looking at the stars. I had a towel out and was all set up, and I was out there at 9 at night in the driveway and after a little bit [my mom was in the garage] my mom told me that I had to go in. I was disappointed, but I went inside. And then, when we had the open house out in Oak Ford. A few of my friends and I sat outside at night and just looked up at the stars. That’s one of the reasons why I love living in the middle of nowhere. Whenever I’m in town and I only see 2 to 5 stars, I always say “That’s why I love living out in the country. You can actually see the stars.” It’s funny too, because a lot of you will hear me complaining about how far out I live, which is why I’m over at my aunts a lot.
We’ll, I’ve typed a lot tonight. Wow. I’m tired, so I’m gonna go to bed and e-mail this is in the morning or tomorrow night. I don’t guarantee that it’s going to be colorful though. I don’t think I’m gonna be on for long. [I’m typing this in Microsoft Word right now] But within the next few e-mail’s one will be colorful.
<3
Micah